5 Things I Have Learned About Newborns
I have been thinking lately about how scary the newborn phase can be for new parents. I saw a quote that resonated with me.
So I thought I would offer some advice to all the new parents out there. Take it or leave it because, even after 3 kids, I am definitely no expert.
Smartphones are lifesavers
Your smartphone is a wonderful tool. Camera, calendar, lifeline, and memory all in one. The first month of having a newborn is a haze. I often lost track of time or thought there is no way the baby could be hungry again. Did they poop the right amount of times today? What day is it anyway?
The thing that saved me was the Baby Connect App. I have not used half of the functions on the app but the one that I live by is the feeding part. I nursed my babies and would often lose track of time and end up wondering how long I nursed them for. The part I really love about this one is not only does it tell you what side you nursed on last, but it has a timer and will notify you when it’s time to switch. So if you get sucked into the black hole that is the internet you won’t accidentally end up nursing your kid for a half hour on one side like I did with my first. I also use it for milestones, so that I can remember when they rolled over or talked, and for medical records, so I can have a chart of their weight/ height and remember what time I gave them Motrin last night (was it at 3am or 4:30?).
Another great hack for your phone is as a baby monitor when you are out visiting. Warning: if you don’t have a family plan you may go over your minutes. I have forgotten to pack the monitor many times because we do not use it at home. When putting the baby down for a nap or to bed I call my husband and leave the phone in the room with the baby. He mutes his and we have an instant baby monitor. You’ll remember this the first time you are at Aunt Sally’s and get told “You forgot the monitor?!!”
Next Diapers
We like Huggies, and to be honest I don’t really remember why we stuck with them after trying a bunch. One important thing to know about diapering is that both boys and girls, yes girls, will pee all over you. So we have found it helpful, especially when they are newborns, to open the diaper and expose the skin, then put it loosely back in place. The cold air sometimes causes them to go. Put the new diaper under the diaper you are about to take off. You may be thinking but if the baby goes we are wasting a diaper but I would rather waste a diaper than end up with poop, pee or both all over everything. Ohhh the laundry.
Also, you need to run your finger beneath the diaper, pulling out the flap all around each thigh so it actually does its job of preventing leaks. You might be thinking duh, but you would be surprised the number of people who don’t know this. TELL THEM so you don’t end up with pee all over you, the baby, and the sofa. (Or tag them in this blog and I will tell them for you.)
Get a Backpack Diaper Bag
Gone are the days that you can just grab your keys, wallet and phone and run out of the house. I still try it from time to time and end up at the zoo with a 2 year old with a blow out and no extra clothes. Thank God for my friend Rachel having back up clothes for her kids! Be like Rachel.
So I have never been a purse person. I hate the way you have to look after them and how the strap falls off your arm. I basically despise the very idea of them. But when I became pregnant, for some reason, I loved the idea of getting a bag and planning how to organize it. I got a really cute blue flowered overly expensive bag. My husband refused to use it so we also got an Eddie Bauer backpack diaper bag. (They no longer make them I checked). I used “my” diaper bag and hated it. It slid off my arm, threw me off balance, and made me struggle even more with the baby carrier. After a month and nearly having the thing smack my kid in the face when I tried to pick him up I dumped it and got an I told you so from my husband. I now rock a Diaper/Photography/Laptop backpack that I LOVE!!!! (They also no longer make these). Amazon has some great ones and you can always run to Buy, Buy, Baby or Target and try them out yourself.
Oh and while you are packing that bag with all the baby stuff, for the love of all that is holy, pack yourself a shirt. Because you will get spit on, you will get peed on, you will get pooped on and you will get thrown up on.
Use a Swaddle Blanket for Everything
Since you are going to have lots of stuff to carry I suggest one thing that works in a multitude of ways. The Swaddle Blanket. Do not cheap out on this! Get the Aden + Anais. We now have 12 but we started with 8 for my son and we use them for everything! Baby spit up? Use the swaddle blanket. Baby falls asleep in the stroller? Drape it over for some extra uv protection. Forgot the changing pad? No problem. You can even use it on the shopping cart so they don’t touch all those winter germs. My favorite go to is to use it as a nursing blanket. Tie two ends together and you have a little space for them to eat (or don’t use it. It is entirely your right to nurse in public). *Getting off my soapbox*
This thing is gold! You can also use the swaddle blanket in the way it is intended as a swaddle blanket. It has the perfect amount of give and take. My husband is the master swaddler in our house. Ladies, give them a job. Dads need to bond too and if yours is anything like my husband you will find him smiling every time you tell him he is the best swaddler this side of the Mississippi.
Car Seats
I always joke that I would have more kids if it weren’t for car seats and laundry. (Anyone who has had a 15 minute battle in the target parking lot over who is going to strap the car seat knows why). Car seats are the bane of my existence and since the kids may be in them until they are driving themselves (or so it feels), we have to plan ahead. We made the mistake of registering for them, which is perfectly fine. Our mistake was that we registered for both the carrier and the backwards facing car seat. We should have returned the backwards facing car seat for store credit. Why you ask? Depending on which kind you buy, by the time you put your child in the car seat, the car seat only has 5 years left.
Also, make sure the car seat fits in your car correctly and any car you plan on getting in the next 5 years. As a matter of fact, make sure it fits with room to spare. We had to change ours out recently to slim profile ones as we couldn’t fit three in a row in our oversize SUV. Yes that’s right we have one of the biggest cars on the market and we couldn’t fit three across. We now use Diono Radian DRXT.
Every kid is their own kid. (Okay 6 things but who’s counting).
Okay now that that rant is over. (Carseats and laundry I tell you). My biggest advice is that each kid is their own kid. If the picture doesn’t illustrate it enough I will give you an example: we tried the same bedtime routine with all three kids. The first one started sleeping through the night at 1 year exactly to the day. The second, she’s 3 now, sleeps through the night maybe once a week. And my angel baby, well she has slept through the night since 5 weeks old. Babies, be more like Charlotte! (She is an outlier so we went out on top!).
Parents, no matter what you do, you will have varying results of success and failure. Lots of people will come to you with advice with their experience because deep down people want to help. But do what you feel is best for your family. It may take you awhile to find your voice but don’t let others make you feel bad for the decisions you make for you and your family. “Thanks for the advice Aunt Sally but we are going to continue to wrap her in the swaddle and lie her on her back”.
In fact I am still winging it so if it doesn’t work for you you can ignore my advice. I have learned to take one day at a time trying to do what is best for my family. Or, on a rough day, what I need to do to make it to the next.
What have you learned from having a newborn? Please comment below with some things that I have missed.
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